May 22 2012

Part 2: What you shouldn’t do if she breaks up with you

datingwtf

(OkCupid original post date: 4/13/12)

Quick vocab lesson if you didn’t read the first post about nice guys:

“Safe” – Predictable, caring, very nice guys who you know will drop everything to be with you, eager to please, very sweet. The type of guy you’d want to have a family with – good father, dependable, doesn’t cheat, etc. The type of guy who often ends up in the friend zone.

“Unsafe” – It’s about being your own person. Not being needy, being independent, being self-assured, making your own decisions, and not caring so much about what other people think about you. Someone who doesn’t need a lot of validation from others and has an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude.

Also, for reference: The safe/unsafe chart.

—–

I’ve been thinking about what I wrote yesterday about nice guys and dating, and one thing I’d really like to emphasize is that learning how to be “unsafe” is not only beneficial for you to get girls, but also for your own sake. It’s very healthy to be your own person and not let someone have too much power over you. It will help you in the long run too, if a relationship doesn’t work out.

An example: I have this friend on Facebook, who’s more like a friend of a friend, and I’ve only ever chatted with him once. Let’s call him Ty. At the time of our conversation, Ty had never been in a relationship before. He was the embodiment of a “safe” guy. Fast forward 6 months or so, and he’s met a girl. She’s substantially more attractive than he is, and isn’t shy about posting photos of herself posing in midriff tops and bikinis. Every other day or so, Ty would update his status saying how much he loves this girl, how this is the happiest he’s ever been, and how waking up to her beautiful face was the best part of his day. I’m thinking, “Shit, this is not going to end well if they break up.”

The relationship lasts for about a year. She breaks up with him. How do I know? Continue reading


May 22 2012

Part 3: How to figure out if the friend you like actually likes you back

datingwtf

(OkCupid original post date: 4/30/12)

You know that girl you like? The one you see at work/have the same class with but you’re just friends? You want it to be more, but you’re unsure about how she feels about you, and you don’t want to wreck a good friendship if it turns out she’s not into you. Here’s a tip for finding out without making things weird between you two. Continue reading


May 22 2012

Part 4: Go in expecting nothing, and you might come out with something

datingwtf

(OkCupid original post date: 5/2/12)

Quick vocab lesson if you didn’t read the first post about nice guys:

“Safe” – Predictable, caring, very nice guys who you know will drop everything to be with you, eager to please, very sweet. The type of guy you’d want to have a family with – good father, dependable, doesn’t cheat, etc. The type of guy who often ends up in the friend zone.

“Unsafe” – It’s about being your own person. Not being needy, being independent, being self-assured, making your own decisions, and not caring so much about what other people think about you. Someone who doesn’t need a lot of validation from others and has an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude.

Also, for reference: The safe/unsafe chart.

—–

Today’s thoughts are about shifting your expectations and how this can result in attracting women. It involves the concept of people wanting things that are rare. The goal is for you to be rare, which is the opposite of being common, or easily available. Continue reading


May 22 2012

Part 5: How is what you’re writing any different from every other technique out there?

datingwtf

(OkCupid original post date: 5/3/12)

Regarding comparisons to all the other dating techniques out there (from a comment in another post): Yes, I agree. Many of the ideas are the same, especially about ‘playing it cool’ and stuff. I haven’t read The Game, but have heard enough about it that I get the gist. I saw one episode of Mystery’s VH1 TV show many years ago, and I also accidentally listened to a CD called “The Art of Seduction” which was in a used car an ex-boyfriend bought.

I feel like the biggest difference between what I’m writing and the others is that 1) I think it’s fucked up to get women by making them feel bad about themselves, and 2) I am trying to emphasize that you should be genuine in your actions. Continue reading


May 22 2012

Part 6: 2 types of “safe” guys, and why logic doesn’t work to attract women

datingwtf

(OkCupid original post date: 5/5/12)

Quick vocab lesson if you didn’t read the first post about nice guys:

“Safe” – Predictable, caring, very nice guys who you know will drop everything to be with you, eager to please, very sweet. The type of guy you’d want to have a family with – good father, dependable, doesn’t cheat, etc. The type of guy who often ends up in the friend zone.

“Unsafe” – It’s about being your own person. Not being needy, being independent, being self-assured, making your own decisions, and not caring so much about what other people think about you. Someone who doesn’t need a lot of validation from others and has an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude.

Also, for reference: The safe/unsafe chart.

—–

I want to clarify that there are two types of safe guys. I think I’ve been focusing mostly on the more extreme types of safe guys in my examples, not just normal, well-adjusted guys who do not necessarily need to be in relationships to feel good about themselves, but who also don’t have a high success rate of attracting women. Continue reading


May 22 2012

Part 7: Being “unsafe” without even knowing it, plus a safe/unsafe chart

datingwtf

(OkCupid original post date: 5/13/12)

Quick vocab lesson if you didn’t read the first post about nice guys:

“Safe” – Predictable, caring, very nice guys who you know will drop everything to be with you, eager to please, very sweet. The type of guy you’d want to have a family with – good father, dependable, doesn’t cheat, etc. The type of guy who often ends up in the friend zone.

“Unsafe” – It’s about being your own person. Not being needy, being independent, being self-assured, making your own decisions, and not caring so much about what other people think about you. Someone who doesn’t need a lot of validation from others and has an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude.

Also, for reference: The safe/unsafe chart, which originated in this post.

—–

Lately I’ve been thinking about all the guys I’ve ever been attracted to. Not your average random guy walking down the street who looks nice physically, but guys who I have spent a considerable amount of time thinking about. They range from innocent crushes where nothing happened, to full-blown relationships and everything in between. So then I started thinking about all the characteristics of these different guys, and where they sit on the safe/unsafe spectrum. Continue reading