May 22 2012

Part 6: 2 types of “safe” guys, and why logic doesn’t work to attract women

datingwtf

(OkCupid original post date: 5/5/12)

Quick vocab lesson if you didn’t read the first post about nice guys:

“Safe” – Predictable, caring, very nice guys who you know will drop everything to be with you, eager to please, very sweet. The type of guy you’d want to have a family with – good father, dependable, doesn’t cheat, etc. The type of guy who often ends up in the friend zone.

“Unsafe” – It’s about being your own person. Not being needy, being independent, being self-assured, making your own decisions, and not caring so much about what other people think about you. Someone who doesn’t need a lot of validation from others and has an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude.

Also, for reference: The safe/unsafe chart.

—–

I want to clarify that there are two types of safe guys. I think I’ve been focusing mostly on the more extreme types of safe guys in my examples, not just normal, well-adjusted guys who do not necessarily need to be in relationships to feel good about themselves, but who also don’t have a high success rate of attracting women. Continue reading


May 22 2012

Part 7: Being “unsafe” without even knowing it, plus a safe/unsafe chart

datingwtf

(OkCupid original post date: 5/13/12)

Quick vocab lesson if you didn’t read the first post about nice guys:

“Safe” – Predictable, caring, very nice guys who you know will drop everything to be with you, eager to please, very sweet. The type of guy you’d want to have a family with – good father, dependable, doesn’t cheat, etc. The type of guy who often ends up in the friend zone.

“Unsafe” – It’s about being your own person. Not being needy, being independent, being self-assured, making your own decisions, and not caring so much about what other people think about you. Someone who doesn’t need a lot of validation from others and has an “I don’t give a fuck” attitude.

Also, for reference: The safe/unsafe chart, which originated in this post.

—–

Lately I’ve been thinking about all the guys I’ve ever been attracted to. Not your average random guy walking down the street who looks nice physically, but guys who I have spent a considerable amount of time thinking about. They range from innocent crushes where nothing happened, to full-blown relationships and everything in between. So then I started thinking about all the characteristics of these different guys, and where they sit on the safe/unsafe spectrum. Continue reading